


250 A's

by Alunala



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Zero Escape (Video Games), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Childbirth, Consent, Crossover, F/M, Gay Sex, Large Breasts, Large Cock, M/M, Mpreg, NSFW, Orphans, Public Sex, Self-Insert, Smut, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:02:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22309867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alunala/pseuds/Alunala
Summary: A troll fanfiction I wrote, making fun of popular fanfiction tropes.999 spoilers and SDR2 Spoilers.
Relationships: Komaeda Nagito/Nanami Chiaki, Light Field/Kurashiki Aoi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	250 A's

**Author's Note:**

> Don't take this seriously. It's all in good fun.

Santa looked at his wrist, waiting for the mark that showed his soulmate to appear. It was supposed to appear on midnight of his 18th birthday and it would depict the contact information of his soulmate. Once the soulmate was contacted, the mark would disappear. 

_ 11:59. One more minute,  _ he thought to himself, tapping the bathroom counter with his slender fingers. His nails made a “clack clack” sound as he tapped out random rhythms with them. He waited and waited, and then check his phone once more to check the time.  _ 12:00. Perfect. _

He looked at the back of his right hand. The phone number was none other than 867-5309. Santa found himself sending a text message to that phone number. “Hello, my name is Santa.”

The response came back immediately, “Bro, are you Santa Claus?”

“Well, actually, my real name is Aoi Kurashiki, but most people call me Santa for some reason.”

“Really, my name is Light but everyone calls me Snake.”

Santa felt his stomach clench as he heard that. Was he really paired up with the one Light Field? He nearly dropped his phone as he typed up his response. He wanted to say something that was strange but something that would make him unforgettable.

“Is that because of the Snake in your pants? ;)” Aoi texted, stifling his giggle.

Snake seemingly ignored the text. “Wait, is there another mark showing up?” He texted, looking at the number that appeared on the back of his right hand. Aoi’s phone number had begun to disappear, but a new one began to appear.

“Yeah, it’s like 666-6969. Did you get the same one?” Aoi texted.

“It seems so.”

Santa’s phone buzzed with a new message “Hello, my name is Echo and I got two soulmates like wtf. I heard it’s super rare like one in ten million.”

Santa read the message, “You should meet the other soulmate,” he texted as he created a group chat.

“So should we send pictures to one another?” Echo texted

“I’m blind so taking pictures is hard. I’ll get my younger sister to take a picture of me. Please don’t send any nude pictures to scar her. She’s only 10.”

“Damn, I wanted to send pictures of my GIGANTIC boobs.” Echo texted, “Like, they’re D cups and all. They’re bigger than the boobs of my best friend.”

Snake texted Santa. He had his texts read to him through text-to-speech, so he didn’t have to have his sister read them. After all, he didn’t feel comfortable with allowing Clover to listen to Echo talk about the size of her breasts. “We should probably block her. She may be our soulmate but we already have each other.

“That’s an extremely valid idea,” Snake says, preparing to block the annoying soulmate. Normally, in a soulmate situation, when one person is deprived of the other soulmate, they’ll end up with something Hanahaki. But to be honest, Echo probably deserves it. I don’t know why she would be our soulmate in the first place. 

“Yeah. Anyways we should meet up at Buttsex Park tomorrow. Cause y’know, male soulmates have buttsex.”

“SANTA!” Snake texted, “CLOVER WAS IN THE ROOM. But yes that’s a valid idea.”

_ Le next day _

_ Where is he?  _ Santa thought to himself. Then he saw a really hot man with buff muscles and a really large bulge in his pants. And the best part was, the man was walking towards him. 

“Hey, have buttsex with me,” the man said, “I’ll put my 18 inches into you.”

Santa realized that this man was Sigma Klim, the man with the world’s largest cock. Santa had kept himself up at night, thinking about Sigma fucking him with the entirity of his 18 inches. He would jerk off thinking about it. At the thought of Sigma fucking him, Santa felt his cock grow hard. 

“Do I have consent to fuck you,” Sigma asked, “and can I get your name?”

“Yes, you can fuck me,” Santa said, “And my name is Aoi Kurashiki” (authors Note: CONSENT IS IMPORTANT) 

And then Sigma put his dick in Santa’s butthole. “Oh Santa, Santa,” Sigma cried.

Unfortunately, this was the exact moment that Snake arrived at the park. “What the hell is going on here. Santa? Are you cheating on me? HOW DARE YOU.” 

“But Snake, he has 18 inches.” And then Sigma came into Santa’s butthole. And then Snake came into Santa’s butthole. 

_ Two months later _

“Snake, I’m pregnant,” Santa said, sleeping in the bed that they were forced to share since they bought the bed and they were too broke to buy another. Somehow, Snake forgave him for sleeping with Sigma- after all, he did end up getting fucked by Sigma too. . “And I don’t know whose baby it is.”

“Wait, men can get pregnant?” Snake said. It appeared that his sex education was lackluster. Especially because he didn’t know that men could get pregnant.

“Yeah, they can.”

_ Seven months later _

“OH MY GOD SNAKE THE BABY IS COMING!” Santa yelled.

“Where the fuck does the baby come out of. (authors note: seriously? How does male pregnancy work?)

And then, a baby shot out of Santa’s butthole. And then another. And another. In total, there were three babies. One girl and two boys. 

“Snake, we’re broke. We can’t have kids. We have to put them up for adoption.”

“Let’s at least name them,” Snake said.

The first baby was white haired and had blue-ish eyes. He looked like he would probably cut off someone’s hand and attach it to his own arm. When Snake held him for the first time, he felt the intense feelings of hope and despair collide with one another. “Let’s name this one Nagito Komaeda.”

The next one they cleansed and held had a full head of thick black hair and black eyes. “This one looks like he doesn’t give a shit about anything at all,” Santa said, “Kind of like me. I couldn’t shit throughout my entire pregnancy.” Snake smiled and said, “We should name him Shouta Aizawa.”

The final baby, a girl with black hair and who suddenly looked like Chiaki Nanami through spirit channeling (and made Komaeda cry) and shifted back, making the baby stop crying, gave out a small yawn, as though she didn’t realize what she had just done. “She seems like she’ll be good at spirit channeling. Let’s name her Maya Fey.”

“I’m sorry kids, but we can’t afford babies right now. We have to send you to the orphanage.”

And that’s why these characters are kind of angsty.

Fanfiction tropes I made fun of

Soulmates

Self-Insert

Love at first sight (but it’s sex at first sight)

Instant Boner

Author

Ikea Erotica

Out of Character

Rule 34

Forced Bed Sharing

Tagging everything   
Rule 50

Mpreg


End file.
